Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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