it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
