Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
