I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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