considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
