I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
When are your genitals available?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
