i wish my penis had a tongue
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
