is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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