Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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