I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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