I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
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Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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