the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
