um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
