why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
As shirtless as possible
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
