remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
