i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
