We won't sleep together?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
