is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
