whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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