why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
