Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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