im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
