so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
