It's like God shit irony all over that family
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Panties = found
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
