the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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