Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
