need another drink. this is the easiest way
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
