What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
