that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
