Walk of Shame. In a state park.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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