You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's official drugs can't kill me
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
