i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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