my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
