these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
