Soap is not a condiment
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
