tell your sister to shave her snatch
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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