drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
