Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
