Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I am midnight drunk by noon
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
