i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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