i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
