I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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