Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
