How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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