It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
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