You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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