It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
