just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
