He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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