i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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