I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
