you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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