If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize