I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize