What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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