She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
