You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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