Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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