I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
