Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
