Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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