Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
